Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll; it was one of those weeks to go back the good stuff. Tom Liberatore and Dane Swan did their best Jim Morrison impressions and Lance Franklin thought he was James Dean.

As long as Meatloaf impersonations are off the table, we should survive the rto est of the week.

To be fair, one bloke who had a worse Grand Final day than Meatloaf was Alan Didak, and it’s good to see he’s getting another go at senior footy.

Many think he’s heading down the path of Brad Green, but he may just have a last shot at September.

But enough of that, a big week of footy ahead, let’s get to it.

 

Geelong vs. West Coast

Tom Hawkins did the unthinkable and Geelong once again did that thing where they made a majority of the football public look stupid. In Perth, the Eagles looked like a Jenga tower around drunks, starting to shake in dangerous territory. Super Pav plucked 8 magnificent ones against them with no Darren Glass in the West Coast team, and those Eagles look a sore and broken bunch.

The rumour was that mid-year, the coaching staff at the Cats thought it was time to rebuild but the players thought the window was still open. For now, they’ll continue to let the spring breeze roll in.

Cats by 19.

 

St Kilda vs. Melbourne

There are many words to describe Melbourne, but one of them isn’t what Stephen Milne called Harry O’Brien. The Dees annihilated the Suns in what was the worst game of football since Terry Wallace sat in an AFL coach’s box, and the Saints couldn’t get a free kick to save themselves.  Luckily, Dean Margetts won’t be umpiring this game, so the Saints should get the job done with ease.

Saints by 59.

 

Adelaide vs. Fremantle

For most Victorians, they’ll be watering their lawns or sitting in traffic whilst this highly anticipated clash occurs. The Dockers, led by the Pavman, are now marching forward and have September in their sights. The Crows look like they’re starting to be tested and a long season is catching up with them. The Crows will want to give themselves every chance of a home final, and they should get the job done.

Crows by 20.

 

Gold Coast v. Greater Western Sydney

Lock the dog outside, send the kids to the movies and take the phone off the hook. Whatever you’re doing, I urge you to watch this game and look for the signs of tanking. Considering the average footy fan has absolutely no clue who half these kids are, who could be able to tell if they’re being played out of place?

I expect a few things from this clash of the franchises. Gary Ablett will break some kind of record and send Champion Data employees mad, Kevin Sheedy will be beamed down from the mother ship & the Suns to rack up win number two.

Suns by 16.

 

Sydney vs. Collingwood

Last week, I took you back to the wild, wacky year of 2008. And like some sort of nostalgic DJ, I’m going to do it again, and hopefully what I dig up is something worse.

‘Incomplete’ by the Backstreet Boys was at number one in one June week in 2005. They felt they needed to wheel their act out one more time to punch out on more soppy and pathetic tune, and FM radio ate it up.

Now what does this have to do with anything? Well, June 25th, 2005 was the last time the Sydney Swans tasted victory over Collingwood. They moved on to bigger and better things that year, so the omens are good for the Bloods and they’re the smart bet.

Swans by 17.

 

Carlton vs. Brisbane

Carlton isn’t getting the message. The Blues haven’t got their holy savoir and they’re playing kids that have been plucked out of nowhere, yet they weren’t too shabby against the Swans last week.

They won’t die, because this group believes September is still on the cards. The Lions are out of the race and when it looked like they were going to cause the Tigers heartache once again, fell over in a heap. Considering the Blues regain the personified Sherman tank in Mitch Robinson, they will get the job done.

Blues by 34.

 

Hawthorn vs. Port Adelaide

Please don’t watch this game, unless you take pleasure in the downright awful.

Hawks by 140.

 

Richmond vs. Western Bulldogs

“OH WE’RE FROM TIGERLAND, A FIGHTING FURY WE’RE FROM TIGERLAND.”

It’s on, it’s on! The late season run is on! Ninth is well and truly in Richmond’s sights. There is going to be some tough competition, but those blokes out a Tigerland have a sniff.

Closer to reality, the season couldn’t end fast enough for the Doggies. They’re running out of steam and the players are hopping to the finish line. They will probably give the Tiges a scare, but ninth is alive and well for this ever-improving yellow and black unit.

Tigers by 25.

 

Essendon vs. North Melbourne

A sold out game that involves North Melbourne is rarer than hens’ teeth. Sunday, we have the arguably the most important game of the round as far as the ladder goes. The top six spots are pretty much sewn up, and a victory by one of these sides should historically lock in seventh place.

The loser could tumble out of the top eight with a Fremantle victory and be left with a nerve-wracking final three weeks. The Dons, after a spirited effort in Adelaide, are coming home with a wet sail, while the Roos racked up regulation thumpings against poor teams in successive weeks. These two bring out the best in each other, and should be an absolute cracker that goes down to the wire.

North by 7.